It’s a difficult period for both you and your teen when feelings are strong, opinions can be rigid, and communication is often ineffective.
There is no magic bullet to fix the problem, but there are ways to make the situation better.
Here are some ideas:
Respect her space
It is important to respect your teen’s space. If your teen wants some time alone, allow her to have it. You can always check in later with a “How was your day?” text or call.
Also, make sure that you allow your daughter the freedom to make mistakes and grow at her own pace. Avoid forcing her into doing things she does not want to do, such as attending extracurricular activities or taking part in family events that she may not be interested in yet (or ever).
Speak to her like an adult
You may feel like you’re speaking to her in a condescending tone, but it’s important to talk in a way that shows respect and acknowledges that she is a person who can understand more than when she was younger.
Avoid baby talk and pet names like “honey” or “sweetie.” Instead, use words that convey your expectations clearly: “It’s time for bed,” not “Let’s go tuck you in.”
Listen to her
When your daughter is talking, listen to her. She may have something important to say, like what she thinks about a book or movie you both recently saw, or how she feels about a problem at school.
If you interrupt her and start talking before, she is finished talking, this will confuse her and make it harder for her to get her point across.
Also, don’t judge what she says by making assumptions about what she means by what she has said so far—just listen patiently until the whole thing has been said!
And finally: do not advise unless asked for it! This is just good manners anyway (and very respectful of your daughter’s intelligence).
Decrease the Parental Protection Mode
You should also be careful not to over-parent your teen. That means letting them make their own decisions and learn the consequences of their actions. If you’re constantly hovering around, they won’t be able to navigate solving problems on their own.
It’s important that you give your teen space while still maintaining supervision and boundaries. You can do this by setting clear guidelines and expectations for behavior but allowing them freedom within those parameters.
Empathize with your child, don’t judge. You should strive to be a sympathetic listener. Anything you say can bring on the sass, more so if you’re criticizing their choices.
We’re talking about not lowering their self-esteem. Instead, ask questions to help her along the problem-solving path.
If you’ve found your teenage daughter is struggling with low self-esteem try this.
Be empathetic to their needs and feelings, but not too much
Empathy is a two-way street. Your daughter’s feelings in a situation may change and if you take sides this can shut down communication lines through embarrassment.
This is where being an expert communicator comes in handy: you can use language that conveys both your understanding and firmness so that your daughter knows she can trust you as someone who will listen without making decisions for her.
If she wants to discuss something with you further, she’ll know where to find you; if she doesn’t want any more discussion about it just now but would rather have time alone with her thoughts, then let her have that too!
Give them a chance to vent and listen when they do so. (They will)
One of the most important things you can do is listen attentively when your teenager has something to say. Listening is an art, and you must be a good listener if you want to communicate effectively with your teen.
It’s important that you don’t interrupt them or try to fix their problems for them, especially if they’re venting about something that happened at school or with friends. You should also avoid giving advice unless asked for it as well.
Constructive Feedback is key
As a parent, you want to encourage your child and help them grow. But sometimes, you might get frustrated or upset with how they are behaving or acting.
This is normal and understandable; however, it can also be hard for parents to know how best to communicate these feelings effectively.
There are several ways that parents can give constructive feedback so that it doesn’t feel like criticism or advice – both of which are harder for children to accept because they are being told what to do by their parents.
Constructive feedback is important because it gives children the space and opportunity to think about the situation from your perspective without feeling criticized. It allows them time to think about what happened without feeling put on the spot by their parent’s reaction right away.
Asking questions along with giving encouragement helps provide constructive advice while still preserving independence within relationships between youth and adults.
Teenagers sometimes need to be reminded that they are loved, valued, and respected
Sometimes, a simple reminder that you love, value, and respect your daughter can go a long way.
Let your daughter know that you’re there for her no matter what happens. Show her that everyone makes mistakes. Apologize when you’re wrong. Listen when she wants to talk about anything.
Showing a little bit of trust can go a long way in your relationship. Despite the usual lies that come with being a parent, make sure to show them that you’re willing to rebuild trust, or all communication could go out the window.
Remember that in the end, you want your teenage daughter to know that she’s loved, valued, and respected. So don’t be afraid to tell her that!
And when it comes to communicating with her about important issues like boys or drugs, remember what we said earlier: keep an open mind and pay attention to what she has to say.