Understanding Loneliness and Its Causes
Do you feel lonely and want to do something about it? Our ten tips against loneliness will help you become active, have positive experiences, and connect with people.
Some people describe the feeling of loneliness as an unpleasant emptiness; others as a longing pull, similar to homesickness. In any case, behind it lies the subjective feeling that one’s own social relationships do not meet personal needs.
This can mean that there is less contact with other people than those affected would like. However, it is also possible that social contacts exist but are perceived as superficial or unfulfilling. In this case, the main issue is the desire for closer emotional bonds.
Knowing which need is most important – more contacts, closer contacts, or both – helps you find solutions. We’ll show you the possibilities here.
How to Overcome Loneliness: 10 Helpful Tips
Overcoming loneliness starts with acknowledging it. For many, this is also the hardest step. Consciously admitting, “Yes, I feel lonely,” may initially seem like a personal failure or defeat.
But loneliness is widespread in our often very anonymous society and affects many people. Accepting that you are lonely is not a defeat but the first and essential step towards overcoming loneliness.
If you are suffering from severe depression or lack of motivation in addition to loneliness, you should discuss these issues with your doctor. They can determine whether you need, for example, psychotherapeutic support.
The second and equally important step in overcoming loneliness is to actively combat it. Simply believing that you can do something about it on your own is a good starting point for building more social connections. Our ten concrete tips will show you how you can use this positive attitude and actively fight loneliness.
1. Use Phone and Video Calls to Stay Connected
Your best friend lives 500 kilometres away; your favourite aunt even lives abroad. And your old school friend, the one you could tell absolutely everything to, lives in the same city, but her hectic job rarely leaves her time for a get-together. She lives in the same city, but her hectic job rarely leaves her time for a get-together.
While phone calls and video calls aren’t the same as real-life meetings, they do allow for closeness and social connection. However, simply making a call isn’t always so easy – appointments, stress, or household chores often get in the way of a spontaneous conversation.
A good solution is to schedule regular phone calls. They are like little appointments that you can look forward to and offer space and time for conversation.
2. Consider Getting a Pet for Emotional Support
The dog that greets you joyfully at home, the cat that purrs while listening to your troubles at work – pets cannot replace human social bonds, but they can provide closeness, affection and security, thus offering emotional support.
Walking a dog also allows you to connect with other dog owners and provides exercise. You don’t even need to own a pet yourself: many local animal shelters welcome volunteers. Perhaps someone in your circle of friends or neighbourhood has a pet you could look after from time to time.
Important: If you are considering getting a pet, you should ask yourself: Do you have enough time? Can you afford it? Are you willing to care for it for many years, and is the animal a good fit for you? If you answer yes to all of these questions, you can proceed with the next steps.
3. Join Clubs and Meet People With Similar Interests
You can meet new friends who share your interests by joining clubs or community groups. There are lots of things to choose from, like photography, book clubs, or sports teams. These groups bring people together, so you can hang out, talk about what you’ve been up to, and have a good time with others who like the same things as you.
Sharing activities with others on a regular basis can bring you nearer to them and help you form lasting friendships that will continue even when the group ends. You’ll have people to hang out with and talk to, and that’s a great feeling.
4. Exercise and Participate in Group Activities
Sport and regular physical activity can reduce stress and tension and have a positive impact on mental health. Even better if the exercise takes place in a group and leads to new social connections. Good starting points are local sports clubs as well as community and neighbourhood centres.
5. Connect With Neighbors and Use Local Services
Often, the best solutions are right on your doorstep, in your own neighbourhood. Community and neighbourhood centres are good places to start. There are also online platforms where neighbours can connect and start joint projects together. But remember: the people we’re talking about here live right next door or even in the same building.
Getting to know your neighbours can be as simple as saying hello. You can offer to help them with things like mowing the lawn or going shopping. Or, you could suggest having a garden party together. It’s not that hard to make contact with the people living nearby. You don’t even need to knock on their door at first; just a friendly greeting can quickly turn into a conversation. Sometimes, it’s the small gestures that lead to bigger connections with the people around you.
6. Volunteer and Support Your Community
Reading to children, supporting the food bank’s food distribution, and training young people in the sports club. Volunteering requires some time and energy, but it gives a lot back.
In the US Health and Retirement Study, participants reported that their social engagement strengthened their connections with others, gave their lives more meaning, and reduced feelings of loneliness. The Federal Ministry of the Interior and Community provides an overview of volunteer opportunities.
7. Cook and Eat With Other People
First, everyone chops together, then stirs in pots and pans, and finally enjoys the meal together: A meal in a group not only fills you up, but it also strengthens social bonds and physical and mental well-being.
Cooking enthusiasts can find like-minded people through cooking classes at adult education centres; neighbourhood networks are another option. The “Beyond the Plate” initiative, in turn, brings together people with refugee experience and locals to cook and eat together.
8. Connect With Others Through Music
Listening to music has a diverse impact on our emotions. It can be energising and motivating, but it can also be sad. There’s no general recommendation for what kind of music evokes joy, comfort, or activity; it depends on individual taste and personal experience.
But in any case, music is a unifying element and allows you to meet other people: for example, at a concert, at a dance evening, in a choir or in a course to learn an instrument.
9. Join a Self-Help Group for Loneliness
Self-help groups for loneliness provide a space to talk openly about feelings of loneliness – without shame. Simply knowing that others feel the same way can be very relieving. The shared search for solutions often sparks new ideas and is motivating.
10. Build Self-Confidence and Take the First Step
The above-mentioned ways to overcome loneliness are by no means exhaustive. There are many other options for meeting people and making new friends. Our tips simply aim to give you a sense of the potential for interpersonal encounters and social connections.
Even though it’s not easy, especially for more introverted people, it can be a lot of fun to be the first to approach others. Furthermore, the people in your neighbourhood and your colleagues at work don’t always feel confident enough to approach you.
